Gift-Giving on the Spectrum, with Christa Holmans | Spectrumly Speaking ep. 104
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IN THIS WEEK’S EPISODE:
(AUDIO – 33 minutes) In this episode, hosts Haley Moss and Dr. Lori Butts welcome back to the show Christa Holmans, also known as the Neurodivergent Rebel. They are the founder of Neurodivergent Consulting and the internationally recognized Neurodivergent Rebel blog. They can be found advocating on Twitter as @NeuroRebel, where they destroy stigma & spreads positivity.
For Christa’s work, visit: neurodivergentrebel.com
Spectrumly Speaking is the podcast dedicated to women on the autism spectrum, produced by Different Brains®. Every other week, join our hosts Haley Moss (an autism self-advocate, attorney, artist, and author) and Dr. Lori Butts (a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist, and licensed attorney) as they discuss topics and news stories, share personal stories, and interview some of the most fascinating voices from the autism community.
For more about Haley, check out her website: haleymoss.net And look for her on Twitter: twitter.com/haleymossart For more about Dr. Butts, check out her website: cfiexperts.com
Have a question or story for us? E-mail us at SpectrumlySpeaking@gmail.com
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
HM:
Hello, and welcome to spectrum Lee speaking. I’m Hayley Moss- an attorney, author, artist and I’m autistic. Today I’m joined here by…
LB:
Hi, I’m Dr. Lori Butts. I’m a psychologist and an attorney.
HM:
How are you?
LB:
I’m good. How are you?
HM:
I feel like we’re really getting into this festive holiday season. And I’m beginning to kind of notice it like the neighbors are putting up Christmas lights and all sorts of things are going on. Even though we are in Florida where it doesn’t snow, and it never quite feels like winter. Can still sense that change of winter.
LB:
We had a we had a nice cold snap there for like 24 hours.
HM:
I wore a sweater
LB:
I did too!
HM:
Like the one sweater I own.
LB:
Exactly, exactly. And you notice that now the shopping days have changed you guys to word we’ve got I’ve got inundated with online shopping deals. And it’s big. Black Friday seems to be going on for all of November now into December. And it’s pretty interesting.
HM:
It’s wild. Like there was all the Black Friday stuff. And then it was Cyber Monday and I’m like, okay, it all ends at Cyber Monday. Right? Like, that’s how it goes. And then I’m starting to get things like, you know, it’s cyber Wednesday, and I’m like… What is this? Is it really Wednesday? It’s Blursday, as far as I’m concerned. Every day is the same, right? It’s
LB:
It’s Cyber December. Cyber 2020.
HM:
It’s almost Boxing Day… Like they just keep coming up with something new. And I feel like there’s always something and it’s a very fun time. Like I personally like getting presents. I like shopping for them. I like buying them for other people I like bags and for myself and I like getting them. Presents are fun.
LB:
I struggle with it. I struggle with finding the perfect gift. I’m I call my think of myself as a generous person, but not necessarily a thoughtful person.
HM:
That is a whole mood. I am also not very coordinated at wrapping things.
LB:
Oh no, no, everything gets a bag. Everything gets a bag.
HM:
I do bags and tissue paper and I’ll throw in stickers, right? stickers.
LB:
See always a little extra. I don’t have that extra touch.
HM:
Stickers make it look more thoughtful. You could stick the wrap the tissue paper together in a nice way.
LB:
Well see I can’t I don’t have the skills to do that Haley.
HM:
My mom taught me that I’ve had to do the tissue paper like kind of wrap it was that and then just put a couple little stickers. Now I try to find fun stickers that I can use.
LB:
Oh, see that’s so see that see that extra touch? I don’t…
HM:
Then you could throw it into the bag to try to tie a bow around the box not too long ago. And I’m like how does how did those stores do it? Where they tie the one with the nice like, with like ribbon like crosses over each other. And then they tie the bow on top. Like how does one do that?
LB:
I have literally no idea. Like no idea.
HM:
This is proof that I’ve never worked in retail.
LB:
Right? I could never get a job in retail because of that.
HM:
I still can barely properly fold a shirt, let alone put something in a box and wrap it up.
LB:
Yeah, I don’t have that skill set. Either one.
HM:
I would probably get fired from retail. Can you put this in? giftwrapping? Gosh, yeah, right. You’d be lucky if it’s folded properly.
LB:
Exactly.
HM:
Well, thankfully, we’re going to learn a little bit more about presents and other fun things in today’s show. I’m excited for the autistic people in your life, myself included, who still always is taking suggestions for great gifts to give to other autistic people or my life or for the neurotypical people in my life. We don’t always know what to do for me. Right. So, to help us out we have our resident fun expert on pretty much all things asking autistics, if you ask me is Christa Holmans. So for those of you who don’t know Christa, Christa Holmans is also known as the neurodivergent rebel. They are the founder of neurodivergent Consulting and the internationally recognized neurodivergent rebel blog. They can be found advocating on Twitter, as @neurorebel where they destroy stigma and spread positivity. Welcome back to the show.
CH:
Thank you so much for having me. It is so good to be on here and get to chat and catch up with you. And it’s like a fun light hearted topic. It’s been such a year where there’s been a lot of darkness and you know, other stuff going on where it’s like, oh, let’s do something fun. And oh my goodness.
HM:
I love that when we get to do something fun, especially because like you said it really has been a difficult year. So just to get started. Can you remind listeners how you became the one and only neurodivergent rebel?
CH:
Yeah. So, you know, I didn’t know I was autistic for a very large portion of my life, I didn’t find out I was autistic until I was 29. And the only reason I discovered I was autistic was because I had very much been kind of going about life living a life that I thought I was supposed to live pacing myself against non autistic people and kept burning myself out and making myself sick. And in, you know, my most recent burnout when I was 29 years old, it led me to discovering that I was autistic. And that was this pivotal moment in getting my life and my health back on track. And, you know, I what I’ve learned through the years of all of this is that being you know, true to my Autistic Self, and being authentic as an autistic person, and living, you know, more autistic lifestyle has been instrumental in my mental and physical health. And, you know, I want that for other autistic people. And so that’s kind of been this journey of the blog over the past four years. It’s been an evolution and a process. But I’m really grateful to even had the opportunity to connect with so many autistic people of the past four years.
HM:
I’ve always learned so much from your blog, and I think the coolest thing is, whenever people refer it to me, and they’re like, yeah, have you ever read neurodivergent rebel stuff? And I’m like, Yeah, I know, Krista. Like, you know that as a person, I’m like, Yes, we’ve met and we’ve met in person every day. And it’s like, with other autistic people. It’s like one of those moments that they have, like that complete. Fan universe blown them.
CH:
I remember that. You said, I think what he said something like, oh, you’re much smaller than I imagined.
HM:
It’s true. Because I think it’s also because online, you don’t realize that people are shorter than they probably are in person. Oh, yeah. And always speaking.
CH:
Mm hmm.
HM:
And like both of us are not tall people.
CH:
No, no, not at all.
LB:
Three of us.
CH:
Yes. group photo next time. Yeah. Have fun. And see I was I was excited. And they were like, oh, Haley moss. I’m like, oh, Haley. I know Haley. Oh, yes. Haley, all I have to hear is Haley like, I’m in!
HM:
I remember texting, you’re going through that airport? Like I’m on my way. Oh, really? I nearly died getting to Jupiter that day. But that was sketch.
CH:
Glad you made it.
HM:
Me too.
LB:
So, Krista, you talked about your mental and physical health, have you been managing through the pandemic?
CH:
You know, if I’m honest, at the beginning, it was really Rocky. For myself and a lot of autistic people change is hard. And I find even good change being can be difficult. But with the pandemic, there was just so much change, there was so much uncertainty, things kept changing, and my full time job, and then there was like a partial furlough for a while. And then I was actually laid off from my full time job at the end of September, early October. And, you know, that is ended up being actually a big blessing in disguise. But even that is, like difficult because it’s changed. And it’s like, not being able to settle into a routine and structure. And I think I’m only just now getting that now that I you know, I’ve been employed as myself for a couple months now. And I’m creating my own structure. And since I’m in charge of it all, nobody can take that structure away from me. But the uncertainty is really difficult sometimes. And now what I’ve learned is, oh, my goodness, there’s not a whole lot you can be certain of. And that’s kind of hard.
LB:
Yeah, that’s really hard.
HM:
I think it’s been really hard to, and I know that even good change, like you’re saying it’s still change, and it’s still overwhelming in its own way.
CH:
Oh, yeah. Like, you know, my first burnout I ever experienced was I was like, 11. And it was because like, I wanted to be in a play. I wanted it so bad. And I got this role in a play. And just being in that play, like it was a good change little thing that was added to my life that I really wanted, but like, I was so sick, like I was sick the whole time I was in the play and leading up to the play. And then like four months after I was still sick. And you know, I didn’t know I was autistic. I couldn’t really understand why but there was a lot of masking and you know, because I was acting acting on the stage masking acting offstage.
HM:
I did drama. I did all the school plays. Oh my god, how did we not ever discuss this?
CH:
I don’t know. But you know, I think those things were really instrumental to my success in life like having that, like, you know, I did the plays backstage on stage. I wasn’t.
HM:
I was an on stage girl for years.
CH:
Yeah: choir, solos. You know, I came from that artsy fartsy family.
HM:
I did it all too.
CH:
Yeah. But I think those things are really helpful to me, as an autistic person, like people like what therapies do you need? I’m like, go I don’t know that I need therapies. But music and theater and art were really enriching activities for me as a child.
HM:
And that may actually be a great segue to what we’re we’re doing today. So we know that the pandemic has been very hard and we’ve been talking about that. We’re here to talk about more light hearted things. And we have a specific topic that you being the absolute awesome autistic lifestyle expert that you are, we wanted to get your thoughts and that of course, is gift kit giving for the autistic people in our lives. Yeah. And maybe that does include some art, theater and music in to enrich the autistic child in your life’s life.
CH:
Yeah. And you know, something I want to say about this, that it’s just kind of interesting as we talk about holidays and gift giving, is, gifts are really great. And some people like receiving gifts, but like when I was a little kid, like the anxiety of knowing a present was coming at Christmas, and not knowing what it was going to be or like the birthday as it crept closer, like, it would like really, like it was not a healthy thing. So like, eventually, it got to the point where my mom would just let me pick my thing, or like one of certain things, and I knew it would be one of these three things. I wouldn’t stress about
HM:
I do that too. Oh my god, I always kind of picked what I wanted it.
CH:
Because it was like, and even now I’m like, Oh my gosh, I feel uncomfortable. Sometimes when someone gives me a gift, because it’s like, I don’t mean to be very particular. But sometimes I am just don’t, you know, it’s like
HM:
–Scary, especially because you don’t know if you’re ever gonna like it or like what if it’s not. And also because I know that autistic people, and sometimes we can be very nofilter very brutally honest. And like, my biggest fear is someone’s gonna give me something I already have. And I know that the polite thing to do is you obviously fake them and all this stuff. And of course, in your head, you’re trying to resist every temptation to go like “I have this”… You’re so screwed, like nothing at the moment and not follow that like neurotypical script is the Thank you. This is so thoughtful, so great. And because your authentic self is like, I have this…
CH:
And my face, I’m sure…
HM:
…and your face is saying soemthing else. Oh my god, yep.
CH:
Or if it’s something that I completely, like, really don’t want, like, I live in an RV now. So I really like I’m like, please don’t get me things, I don’t really need many things. We’re living as minimalist lifestyle, I don’t have a lot of space for a lot of things. So like…
HM:
Then someone gets you like really bulky cooking appliances, or
CH:
Or something that will take up a lot of space. It’s like, I do appreciate the thought it’s really sweet. But it’s just like, I think in the moment, my brains gonna go like, Oh my god, what do I do with it? You know, and then my face is gonna show like, something I didn’t mean for the show, you know? It’s like, aww…
HM:
Oh, 100%. So, when we’re picking gifts for other people on the spectrum, how do you think that we should go about that or like finding the right thing? Because it’s so stressful? And I think for a lot of people is like, Oh, my God, what do I get? What do I do? And so I think, especially for the neurotypical listeners, where’s a good place to start?
CH:
Well, I think a really good safe bet for many autistic people, like, if you’re shopping for us would say, what are they interested in? You know, what are their hobbies? What are they Pat? Are they passionate about, and if you know what things they love, you know, if they love a certain video game, or they love coloring, and they love drawing, and art, or maybe you know, they love a certain character, you know, you can get them something related to one of their passions, you know, for me, you know, we talk about our artistic interests. And you know, when I find a new interest, it really is like falling in love with that thing. And I kind of want everything I can possibly have related to it. You know, and so that could be like books on a subject or you know, and when I was into hula hooping, I had a lot of different hula hoops. And when I was into, you know, so it’s like, whatever you’re into, those are the things that like, bring me a lot of joy. And so it was like, really nice. If someone like new Oh, this is something they’re really into. And it would get me something related to my interest. And so that’s easy to like, you know, kind of see, like, if you hang out with an autistic person long enough, and we’re relaxed will probably tell you about our interests eventually. It’s almost inevitable, right? Maybe more than you want to hear.
HM:
Oh, for sure. You asked me about anything that I get excited about or care about, you will never hear the end of it.
CH:
Mm hmm.
HM:
I think that’s one of the really great things, especially for us that we get to work in autistic spaces is because that is in fact, one of our artistic interests that we get to geek out about this stuff all day long.
CH:
Oh, yeah, totally. And like when you get to geek out with other autistic people, they get it. They let you geek out and they’ll geek out with you. And we all have fun and nobody is like, telling you like you need to stop because you’re annoying because they they get it like they understand like being really passionate about something and how something can bring you so much joy. We’re neurotypicals always understand that. It’s like what is going on with these people? Yeah, I don’t know. I like that I get so much joy from these things. I can’t imagine me living where I wouldn’t. That seems kind of sad.
HM:
Which makes me think of when it comes to joy and different things I know a lot of us are very floppy, happy and STEMI and that either brings us comfort or it is a form of full body joy. I always say that clapping my hands is the biggest full body joy that I could ever experience and I wish that neurotypical people knew what that felt like.
CH:
Was the camera on just know like, wait a minute were you looking at me? (Laughs) Did you hear flapping like bouncing up and down?
HM:
Like flappy joy, or just like the way that like my hands are always moving or that my body wants to participate in my feelings, I think I’ve never actually think I’ve received like stem toys or anything like very like sensory friendly like that as a gift before. And I’ve never gotten the opportunity to give anything like that to other autistic people. So do you have any experiences that are like any recommendations on really great, like semi things that are fine, because I think it’s something that the really neurodiversity affirming parent especially would put or family member or friend or whoever it may be, would probably be a hero in our book if they did such a thing or found such a wonderful thing for us.
CH:
Yeah. Well, you know, I know my favorite sensory thing I have ever is my weighted blanket. I love my weighted blanket. But then like also things like because it depends, like everyone has different like senses. You know, they really come down to like someone says to people, like my partner, he really likes those. These are those little wave things. They’re like oil and water and you like, they have like big ones for adults. Now they have like sand and you can like flip them over. And they’re like, really elaborate and like pretty you just watch them and they’re soothing. Like he loves those Actually, I like them too. But no, he loves them more than I do. But it’s like we all like something different. Like, you know, I also love like those, those scented oil diffusers, we drop the oil drops in the water and it makes it smell good. And you can pick like whatever smell you like.
HM:
I wish I had a better sense of smell.
CH:
Yeah, see, we’re all different. See, that’s nothing for you. So it’s like the individuals really different.
HM:
But the sand sounds really wonderful. And it’s funny because you’re telling me about the way to blank. I’m like I have a weighted blanket. And it makes me feel anxious getting crushed underneath it
HM:
CH:
See? We’re all different is really different.
HM:
I always wanted to play with those like tangles.
CH:
I love those.
HM:
Those look like a lot of fun.
CH:
I went to a conference once and you know, they give you like free goodies in the gift bag. And one of those was in there. And I was like, Oh, this is like the best thing. I’ve gotten in a conference bag in a long time. And they’re always giving you electronics. It’s like no, this.
HM:
My favorite conference like stem toy I think I’ve ever gotten is sometimes they would include stress balls. And I used to collect stress balls at one point because I would just have so many and I love them. And they’re never something I’d actually like by myself. But every time they’d show up in like a gift bag or something I’d be like, this is the greatest gift ever.
CH:
I’d like squishies though, like they’re kind of the same thing I showed you. I had that squishy kitty hamburger that I bought in the airport on the way Remember that? Remember, all you do is you squeeze it.
HM:
I don’t think I got the squeeze it but I remember seeing it on your Instagram story.
CH:
Yeah, I was like I don’t know if I let it out of my hand. I had it clenched in my fist like old tire trick when I grabbed it looks like a same thing. It’s like a stress ball. But it’s like memory foam. So you know, like you push the memory foam in it, like really slowly creeps back out. Mm hmm. is really fun and interesting. Similar thing I love squishies and they’re cheap. That’s a cheap stocking stuffer,
HM:
I’m gonna say is these are probably great, like stocking stuffers, or if your budget isn’t very high because of the economic situation or you just don’t know this person very well. I think that’s great that we have different gift ideas, all price ranges, because I also know that like squishies are cheap, but also like a weighted blanket, depending on where you get it from could be hundreds of dollars.
CH:
Yeah. And I got a cheap weighted blanket. And you know, it says you can’t wash it. And I’m like, uh, so what do I do now? Because it smells like a dog because dogs I got it. It was like fabric softener or something. Maybe it was only like a $30 weighted blanket. So I don’t know if I can have it dry cleaned or what but I like
HM:
I got my I got mine through one of the companies that sent it to me after going viral. And I remember I had it I had it sent to my law office because I felt like it was a big box. And I didn’t want to like leave it at my apartment building. Oh, yeah. Remember all the other lawyers who were so excited to open it and it was like 15 or 20 pounds or something?
LB:
Oh, that’s heavy.
HM:
I think it was it. I don’t know. I think it was 15 because they said it had to be like 10% of your body weight and the minimum was 15 I don’t remember but I remember it’s three of us picked it up and we wrapped it around ourselves.
CH:
Oh, it feels way heavier than that too. It’s like is it 15 pounds total or 15 pounds per…. You know, I’m like how do they know?
HM:
I don’t know. I think it was 15 pounds of stuff inside of it. Yeah,
CH:
it’s interesting how they spread out the weight and it makes it feel different.
HM:
I just remember walking into my boss’s office and he’s like what is this?
CH:
I think it’s magic. I like it for me
HM:
I need to give it another try. I brought it home after I got it and my mom loved it.
CH:
Like use it when you watch Netflix you know cuz that’s what I thought he relaxed and have some nice tea.
HM:
I would be a lot more excited about it to if it were also colder here because it seems it’s very everything the last time we tried it out as a family all together. I was like this is gonna get really sweaty. Okay, so next time on the couch. I’m like maybe we need to wait for those nice cozy days to go. watch Netflix.
CH:
On a nice cold snap. That would be useful. Yeah, I forget. See. We don’t have a lot of cool weather here. In Texas, either our weather is really kind of similar to Florida weather actually. We’ve been kind of cool this week, though. We’ve had a couple cold snaps this year already. But yeah, you don’t get that it was 84 or think almost around mid 80s every day it was there. And it was like in November, I think. Yep, that’s that sounds like here’s all that. It was nice, like vacation, that’s for sure.
HM:
I’m thinking with our good and bad gift giving something that I always worry about, especially for younger folks, or folks that do have more sensory aversions and different sensory processing is gifts of clothing.
CH:
Oh, please, no.
HM:
See, I am someone who likes to give clothes like especially to like a partner like my mom, because I know it goes really well. But that might be mostly for the neurotypicals in my life while my biggest fear so for me like wool is the biggest itchy scary thing in the world. Oh, yeah. And I’m always scared. Somebody’s going to give me like a really nice wool sweater. Like this. Beautiful. You love it when you’re traveling. It looks professional, this, this and this and this. And on top of like worrying about the size or whatever. I’m like, I’m gonna be like, this thing is scratchy.
CH:
Yeah, no kidding.
LB:
Yeah, it’s scratchy even to me.
HM:
Like, it’s not we all know that depending on who you’re with, or who you’re giving a gift to that clothing is very hit or miss.
LB:
Very, very.
HM:
But I think when we’re talking about the autistic people in our lives, it could be hit or miss because we were able to take it we really have to take into consideration the materials and modeling is made up and that sensory profile on top of it.
CH:
Yeah.
LB:
This conversation is making me even more anxious about gift giving. (Laughs)
CH:
No clothes unless you know someone really really well. Or gift cards for clothing stores so they can pick their own clothes.
HM:
That’s what I that’s my favorites. A gift card is always a solid move.
CH:
I love gift cards. I love when someone gives me a gift card because then I it’s like,
HM:
I grew up as gift cards are seen as like, insensitive at first. Like, that’s how I grew up is like you can’t give gift cards like original, like don’t give money or gift cards like that. Yes. And now and the older I got, like gift cards and gift card gifts go really well. And if I really don’t know, like, especially with other people, especially the neurotypicals in my life, I really don’t know what to give anymore. I feel like Starbucks gift cards. For me at least are one of those, like, get out of jail free cards. Oh, yeah. A lot of people I know are like very, like even when I was at work, and I had to do Secret Santa or whatever you would like to call it. I always knew a Starbucks gift card was usually a safe bet. Because whoever I get assigned, usually walked into the office with a Starbucks every single morning. So I was like, okay, it’s just buying them coffee for like three or four days. Yeah, I think this is wonderful.
CH:
Yeah, and that’s a good one too. Because sometimes like Starbucks is kind of like one of the more expensive place to get coffee. But if it’s like a you know, I’m addicted. They might and it’s like, I might not buy myself Starbucks, but I’m gonna be excited if someone gives me a Starbucks gift card because then I’m gonna go buy some Starbucks
HM:
And for some people, it’s part of their routine. Oh, yeah, thinking about gift cards, maybe even something that’s part of the person that loves routine, because you know, it shows that you’re honoring the things that bring them comfort.
CH:
And you know that you’ve noticed, oh, this is something you enjoy. This is something you like, like you’ve paid attention that but that’s really nice to have someone like show that much care and interested in have noticed. Oh, wow, you notice Thank you, you noticed me?
LB:
Well, you guys are making me feel a lot better.
HM:
I think it’s harder to save, or honestly one of the safest bets no matter who you’re dealing with. But I think it’s also hard because I think when we talk especially about autistic if giving an autistic people to so something that I think is really important. And I would love to know your thoughts on this too, in this conversation is we know that we have a lot of autistic small business owners and entrepreneurs out there. And I would love to be able to of course be able to support them or to be able to support the small businesses in our communities too, that are obviously very impacted by the pandemic. So I think as well although I don’t know if they always do gift cards, so I always think of how can we support these other people in our community? How can we support local and also just mostly marginalized folks who are just doing the best they can to keep food on their table their bills, paid whatever extras and gifts for their families and loved ones and friends too? So just kind of a quick thought on that as I’m thinking about our autistic owned companies or if there’s anything really cool that we’ve seen out there.
CH:
Oh gosh, there’s there’s quite a few You know, there’s I mean, gosh, I should we should we brought a list of some to like bring on like I try to share them whenever I see you.
HM:
I know you have like swag too.
CH:
I do have swag. I I have some fun autistic pride gear. And that’s really because you know what, I was trying to have security and myself and like, I was like, you know, I was like, Okay, I’m autistic. I wanted like go out in the world and like, you know, share it with people. It was like a conversation starter and then like so I had like stickers. So people are like, hey, how do you get those stickers and I was like, Oh, I just made them for myself and ordered some stickers and I just made a shirt for myself. And so it was like, they wanted them. So I was like, I put it in the shop, but now I have it there too. But it’s like, it’s like clothing. So once again, it’s like, it’s kind of hard, you know, there’s some hats and other things, but I mean, it’s fun. It’s, it’s, it’s something that you know, I do because I enjoy it. And for a lot of people who are small businesses and crafters, it is really hard to make a living doing something on your own because there’s big businesses out there that you know, can produce things at such low prices that are far below even what it costs sometimes for small businesses to make things you know, I try to share on social media, you know, other autistic artists, Etsy shops and things here and there from time to time to just because I think it’s really important for us to, you know, when we can like spend with small businesses, sometimes you know, you may not be there may be some really affordable, great little things out there. Like Etsy. I love Etsy and I love Etsy to artistic and neurodivergent on Etsy you can probably find autistic under different artists on there pretty easy, so I’m pretty sure I’ve done that before. Since I can’t think of anybody off the top of my head right now.
HM:
Yeah, either. I mean, the only one that I’m really that I have like a vague familiarity with that I remember is doodle death off the top of my head.
CH:
Oh, yeah.
HM:
Um, and I do remember going through Etsy. And because I before the show, we were talking about my that I love stickers. Like I love to decorate like packages with stickers, or if I send things in the mail, I like to send stickers sometimes. Oh, yeah. And I saw some really cool to neurodiversity stickers, and I’m like, ooh, I should definitely pick up a couple of these just for me or for something.
CH:
Yeah, and that’s really fun too. I love like stickers is like you can buy like a little sticker from someone and that’s like a really cheap way to like, show like a little bit of support for someone and get something cool. I love I’ve been
HM:
I’ve been meaning to make stickers or something for a while because I drew up this thing as a joke a couple months ago because I was talking to my other autistic friends and it just says Peace Love trains on it and I drew a train with it. Oh, and like a peace sign and stuff like I should get this made up into stickers. These like Peace Love train stickers is so cute. Yes. You like all sorts of fun, like weird, like, Goofy little things. If I had more time I have more time on my hands eventually. And like I should try try to make some stickers or little like cheaper fun things to play with.
CH:
Yes. Oh, I love that. That’s fine. You’re creative. I really like your art.
HM:
I just wish I had more time to actually do something with it.
CH:
Same I know, I haven’t actually put any new art up in my store in a really long time.
HM:
I think we should. We should talk after this and figure out how we can do a collaboration for the store.
CH:
Okay.
HM:
Fine. That would be as if I don’t have an as if neither of us are like busy enough.
CH:
We have to have accountability club for art. Okay, we will do the art things.
HM:
We will do the art things to help our community.
CH:
Yeah, using using our skills, you know, using what we’re good at to give
HM:
accountability. That’s what I’m going to give you this year.
CH:
Oh, okay. That’s a good one. Let’s talk about gifts you can give people without spending money.
HM:
We could give the gift of friendship, we could give the gift of accountability. We can be there for the people in our lives. That’s really especially our autistic friends who may be socially isolated more so than ever right now.
CH:
Oh, yeah, definitely. Absolutely.
HM:
If you are a nervous or you don’t want to buy things, or whatever it is that you believe we could be better people to each other.
CH:
Yeah, that’s that’s like the ultimate like Christmas dream, right? Christmas Eve everyone Exactly. Love each other and be nice. That’d be so so much better than all of the gifts and physical things in my opinion.
HM:
I always feel like it’s really corny. Every time I say like the best gift you can give me as your friendship, but sometimes it’s the truest thing in the world.
CH:
See, you’re so sweet. I was like, Ah, that’s why I was like, I’m so excited to get to talk to Haley. That’s why
HM:
I’m with this Mike these conference. Like a lot of the conversations I feel like that we have here. It’s like getting a warm hug from a friend. Today feels like a warm hug.
CH:
Yes, well, I’ll take a warm hug from you virtually from you know, miles away on the other side of the country. Always. It’s always good to have a warm hug from a friend.
LB:
It’s very true. That’s very true.
HM:
We can always send virtual hugs.
CH:
Mm hmm.
HM:
As our gift of choice this year.
CH:
Zoom is a great tool to it’s like hey, you can connect with people pretty easily now even if you can’t see them in person. And like hop on these video calls to make sure you know people aren’t alone this holidays.
LB:
Right and scheduling them and making a point to schedule them and making a date not just kind of pushing it aside making sure you follow through. You guys have saved the world today. With your cheeriness and Happiness and, and spreading of love and thoughtfulness. It’s very kind.
CH:
We need a little bit more of that right? Hey, I
HM:
I think so too, especially because the world beat and I think of something I saw on Instagram today from Blair. Amani be an active participant in making the world less terrible. And that’s what we’re doing. Yes. are actively participating and making the world less terrible.
CH:
I love that.
HM:
I’ll tag you later.
CH:
I think that’s really similar to something I used to have on my blog. I don’t know if it’s still on there anywhere. But it’s like early beginning it said something about trying to leave the world a better place than you found it.
HM:
Yep. Yeah.
CH:
I mean, yeah, that I think that’s really important.
HM:
I think we’re, we’re all onto something pretty cool.
LB:
Yeah. Yeah. It’s really nice. It’s, that’s what everybody really needs.
HM:
I think we got a lot and covered a lot of ground today.
CH:
Yeah. Excellent. do
HM:
so because Krista is an absolute superstar. how can listeners find out more about you and what you do and continue to learn from you because we learn a lot from you. And I know you and I always have wonderful conversations whenever we do get around to talking to each other because executive functioning in life gets in the way.
CH:
Yes. Well, I’m pretty easy to find. If you Google neurodivergent. Rebel, you’ll find me quickly. I’m also at neurodivergent rebel.com. And I’m on all social media channels, very easy to track down. You know, thank you so much for inviting me to come talk today and have this fun, light hearted conversation. I needed that this week.
HM:
I needed it. I needed it to. Yeah, thank
LB:
Thank you so much. It’s really been a pleasure.
HM:
Absolutely. So be sure to look for Krista and all of their work at neurodivergent Rebel on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and at neurodivergent rebel.com. I think that is I think we have a great place to end our conversation for today, especially on the gifts of friendship and also just the fun things that we can get each other and stocking stuffers and things all the way out through the whole spectrum of gift giving for the people on the spectrum that you know and love. So we really covered a lot of ground today. So be sure to check out differentbrains.org and check out their Twitter and Instagram @ DiffBrains. And don’t forget to look for them on Facebook. If you’re looking for me, I too am very online and can be found at Haley moss art across all social media or at Haley moss dotnet.
LB:
I can be found at CSIexperts.com Please be sure to subscribe and rate us on iTunes and don’t hesitate to send questions to spectrumlyspeaking@gmail.com. Let’s keep the conversation going.
Spectrumly Speaking is the podcast dedicated to women on the autism spectrum, produced by Different Brains®. Every other week, join our hosts Haley Moss (an autism self-advocate, attorney, artist, and author) and Dr. Lori Butts (a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist, and licensed attorney) as they discuss topics and news stories, share personal stories, and interview some of the most fascinating voices from the autism community.
